my thoughts

this morning when i travelled on the mtr, i saw a little girl sitting on the lap of her philippino maid singing "mary had a little lamb". i thought to myself, "how cute she is!" after a while, the girl, who is of kindergarten age, called her mum who stood not quite near her. so, before she called her mum, i did not realize that her mother was nearby.

however, her mum, who is a working woman and dressing smartly, seemed so concentrated in a conversation with a man standing in front of her that she did not give any response to the little girl. at that moment, i thought to myself again, "what a mother she is! it seems she does not care for her little daughter! simply put the responsibility to the philippino maid! so irresponsible!"

as i was having pity with the little girl, i also saw that this woman was in a "discussion" with the man in front of her. i didn't know if the man was her husband or not, but i heard the woman said, "...not even a phone call..." and she wept. the man was sad and it seemed that he felt helpless with what the woman said. so i thought to myself again, "oh, maybe they have problems in their relationship or maybe they have problems not yet solved. that is why the woman is so unhappy that she simply does not have the mood and energy to care for her little daughter."

then, i had more sympathy with the woman. and i told myself that i should not jump into conclusion before i see the whole picture.

bonus time

i read books on my one-hour mtr ride to work every day. i am now reading an autobiography, which is a favourite genre of mine. the book is "falling leaves" by adeline yen mah. it talks about the author's true story of her life as an unwanted chinese daughter.

when she grew up, she met again her aunt who loved her very much and took good care of her when she was a kid. the following is what her aunt said when they met again:

"i often think of life as a deposit of time. we are each allocated so many years, just like a fixed sum in a bank. when twenty-four hours have passed i have spent one more day. i read in the people's daily that the average life expectancy for a chinese woman is seventy-two. i am already seventy-four years old. i spent all my deposits two years ago and am on bonus time. every day is already a gift. what is there to complain of?"

it seems that only old people will think in this way. but isn't it true that we all are allocated a fixed sum? and we do not know how large this sum is. if we go on complaining while we are spending every cent, we may one day find out that we have spent all but doing nothing except complaining. so, why not consider each day as the last cent we have and live life to its fullest? a verse in the bible says, "...you do not even know what will happen tomorrow. what is your life? you are a mist that appears for a little while and then vanishes (james 4:14)."

this also makes me think of "carpe diem" (seize the day), an aphorism used by roman writer horace in his odes.