melancholy

i have not written poems for a long time. on my way home this evening, i have composed one in my mind.

melancholy

four plus two used to work in a team
happily, harmoniously, excitedly, noisily and merrily.

one by one left.
j first, then a
today c also left.

i am sadder than before
though i cried two years ago but not today.
a sense of melancholy wells up in my eyes

there are more than four plus two in the team now.
but it has changed.

no laughter
no excitement
no words
quiet
separated
alone

jobs done in the team.

a quiet cyberport

when i worked for an engineering magazine in 2000, i wrote a feature on cyberport. the following are quoted from my feature:

"the cyberport, an important information infrastructure project in hong kong, attracts not only local attention, but also the world's focus as it is expected to be a multimedia hub for forming a strategic cluster of worldclass information technology (IT) and information services (IS) companies.

aiming at attracting and nurturing innovative IT/IS talents in order to build a cyber culture critical mass in hong kong.....

.....the cyberport provides a quality working and living environment conducive to creative thinking and exchange of ideas among like-minded people."

when i wrote this feature, the cyberport was not built yet. today, i have a chance to see the real cyberport. comparing what i see today with what is described in my feature, i am completely disappointed with this so-called the hub for high technology. where are the worldclass IT and IS companies? where can i find like-minded people exchanging ideas? none. what i can only see is a quiet building complex. it is so quiet that i think today is sunday instead of monday. the lobby of park building at castle peak road is much busier than the cyberport! the cyberport simply cannot create a "campus" atmosphere conducive to creative synergy.

what an important infrastructure project in hong kong!

a lesson

because of my neck pain, i have started swimming for a few months. the chinese doctor said this is a good therapy. it helps indeed. not only do i feel relaxed after swimming, but the situation with my neck has also improved though not yet completely recovered.

early this morning (around 7:30am), i went swimming again. i can only go swimming on saturday or sunday morning when i do not need to go to work and when the swimming pool nearby is not so crowded with kids. though i know how to swim, somehow i cannot or better say i dare not try to swim non-stop across the pool (some 25m). i usually stopped in the middle to take a short rest and then swam back to the original starting point. there are two reasons: i think i do not have the energy to swim non-stop for 25m; and i am afraid of deep water (usually one end of the swimming pool is deeper than the other end). this morning, i told myself: i should try. so, i "saved" my energy and tried. wow, i made it! and i even did this a few times. i felt happy and had a sense of satisfaction and success.

i learn a lesson. we may be afraid of doing something we have not tried before, and we may limit ourselves when we look at the seemingly unfavourable environmental factors. adventures involve courage. be brave! you may find you can achieve much more than you have expected. you may discover a new you. and you may widen your horizons!

a friend indeed

yesterday, i was a bit upset due to some age-old problems in my team. conflict of roles and poor communication have made me feel being disrespected and uncomfortable for almost a year. now i work every day without high hopes and great expectation. i just work for a living. that's all.

when i was about to leave at 5:30pm yesterday, i asked a colleague if she was also leaving cos i wanted to talk to her to sort of release my feelings. this colleague was not leaving immediately as she had an appointment later. but upon knowing my intentions, she came to my seat. she offered to walk me on my way home.

she was right. i have to let go. really let go. maybe i have not yet completely let go. that is why i am still unhappy. from now on, i have to remind myself that this job is for a living only.

thanks, serina, for not only reminding me this, but also simply accompanying me for a walk. a 15-minute walk to the mtr station. you are a friend indeed.

a girl with mission

carol, a student intern i took care of during the summer vacation last year (2004) wrote to me yesterday. she told me that she has just come back from an english camp in china. it was a mission trip in which she taught english to students there. she enjoyed the trip so much that she wanted to go back again. she simply missed her students.

she did not live in luxurious hotels nor did she have sumptuous meals there, i believe. but the joy she expressed to me was so intense that you may think she has gone to a grand and lavish trip in europe or somewhere else. no. absolutely not. the joy comes from the relationship established with her students, and from something she receives from god. her contentment comes from helping god to achieve a mission. as simple as that.

i am happy for her, and i am also proud of her. she is just a local form six student going to be in form seven after this summer. but she is a girl with mission.

carol, you have every support from me and i will pray for you.

blessings

when i opened the door and stepped inside the flat as i went home last evening, i suddenly felt a sense of contentment.

at that moment, i knew that i was going to cook a dinner. i would make two dishes. one is steamed beef and the other is boiled vegetable. i felt that it would be enjoyable to have dinner at home with my husband. i feel blessed because i can cook. i feel blessed because i can eat normally. i feel blessed because i can have dinner with my family. i feel blessed because i am still alive and can do what i want to do. isn't that wonderful? there are lots of people out there not able to do what they want to do due to various reasons. we should be grateful as we can enjoy life and appreciate life.

punctuality

a manager of my company almost always arrives at the office at around 10am every day, one hour later than she is supposed to start working according to her employment contract.

what is punctuality? it is not only a behavioural term. it is also an attitude of life. you respect the appointment and therefore you are punctual. you respect the person and so you are punctual for a gathering. you respect yourself and you repect life --- so you try to be punctual for every job or appointment you choose to take. no one can force you to take any of the jobs or attend any of the gatherings. it is your own choice...

bee in bird?

this pix is created by debbie, a friend and colleague of mine. seems debbie is not only a good designer but also a sophisticated person. she combines a bee and a bird in one image, with a complicated explanation.... that i do not quite understand!! anyway, it is good to have different interpretations for one single image. that is creativity, right?

creativity

serina, another friend of mine who is also a colleague in the current company has recently made me a craft of a lovely little bee with a flower. it is origami -- the craft of folding paper. since it is made by folding paper, the head of the bee is a cube! so funny! but it is indeed lovely.

recently, we have been learning origami during lunch time in the office. this makes me think of my childhood. when i was small, there were not so many toys, especially electronic ones. we used simple materials and objects to create our toys. origami is one of my favourite games. we made paper boxes, cranes, aeroplanes, hats, balls, etc.

i feel that children at that time were more creative compared with kids nowadays. life was simpler then. a simple life encourages creativity?

my colleague and friend

my colleague cc is going to leave the company. she is one of the few good friends of mine in this low-morale and gossip-saturated company. cc is much younger than i. at first, i was afraid we might have a "generation gap". but surprisingly, we have developed a harmonious working relationship over the years. we consider each other friends rather than colleagues.

i felt happy when she mentioned to me her resignation. i was happy for a number of reasons. firstly, i was the first one to know this. this means that she trusts me and confides in me. the more important is that when she tells me about her new job, she shows her willingness to take challenges. there are numerous reasons for her to leave, and she shared with me her concern. but after all, she is a girl willing to learn. that is a good attitude youngsters should have and that i appreciate very much.

my manager asked me if i missed cc. my reply was an "of course" answer. it is wonderful to work with someone whom you can consider a "comrade". we helped one another in our workplace; we respected one another; we shared problems; we listened to one another; and we learnt from one another. cc's leaving makes me think of when my former manager jenny left the company. the same feeling.....

it is a blessing to have good colleagues and good friends.

my student winnie

my student winnie called on monday evening, telling me that she would be leaving again early the next day morning to return to her workplace in china. i said i was so sorry since i could not squeeze time to meet her in the past week. she came back to hong kong to stay for about 2 weeks for a business meeting only.

winnie was my student when i was her private tutor some years ago. she was then in primary six. she has already left university for a few years and is now working. early this year, she told me that she was going to join a non-profit humanitarian organization to organize relief and educational work in china. she does not work in urban china, but those parts where there is no mtr, no soft drinks or snacks, and no broadband. instead she has got mosquito bites, diarrhoea, a tired body after frequent walks under the sun for hours.... but the most important, she has work satisfaction, a heart for appreciating life, and sympathy for the poor. and i can see her sense of enjoyment and contentment from the pictures she took in china, especially those with the poor but happy kids.

winnie has grown up. i feel contented. i am proud of her indeed. it is not easy for such a young person not to work for money nowadays. she studied business administration in university and it is not difficult for her to find a job making money. her present job seems tough, but she has find meaning in it. and that is the most important.