five love languages

i have finished a book called "the five love languages". the author, gary chapman, says that every one has their primary love language. if someone speaks your primary love language, you will then feel you are loved by that person. these five love languages are "words of affirmation, quality time, receiving gifts, acts of service, and physical touch".

the book is intended for couples. according to the author, a couple married because they were "in love". this "in love" experience caused them to get married. but after marriage, they will come down from that "in love" feeling. this doesn't mean that they do not love one another anymore, but that they should then pursue "real love" -- a love that grows out of reason and choice, and that requires effort and discipline. during this post-in-love stage, if they can speak one another's love language, their "love tank" will be full and their relationship will be kept. if not, an empty tank will make them feel not being loved and frustrated. some couples may even get divorced. the author has quoted numerous real cases in which couples nearly getting divorced are saved by this "love language".

he also says that love language also applies to children. so i think everyone has their love language and if we can speak the love language of our spouse, families, friends, etc., we will all be in harmony. want to find out your primary love language? read the book! a good read indeed!