23 October 2005

book review: the notebook

i have finished reading the notebook within a few days by reading it during the hours on the mtr every day. nicholas sparks is indeed a good writer. he uses simple language to show us pictures of scenery and personality of his characters. he also does not need to use complicated words and phrases, but has succeeded in conveying to readers very deep thoughts and meanings.

the notebook is a love story. it tells the power of love. the strong love between the two main characters has reunited them even though they had separated for more than ten years after they first met and fell in love. the strong love has also helped them go through the difficult, last journey when one of them suffered from Alzheimer's disease at an old age.

i cried when i read about this man feeling sad and lonely as his wife cannot remember him anymore because of the disease. i cried when he reads again the last letter prepared by his wife telling him that how much he means to her and that she loved him in the past, loves him now and will love him in future. i cried when the wife states in the letter asking her husband not to be angry with her on days she does not remember him (because of the disease).

in the story, the author has mentioned the power of literature and especially poetry in people's lives. the following quotes are good for thoughts:

"poets knew that isolation in nature, far from people and things man-made, was good for the soul, and he'd always identified with poets."

"poetry, she thought, wasn't written to be analyzed; it was meant to inspire without reason, to touch without understanding."

19 October 2005

dish cabinet


i reorganized the dish cabinet over the weekend, adding racks to it so that plates and bowls of different sizes are in different "shelves". this allows me to get the plates and bowls easier. in the past, i needed to take the whole stack of plates out if i wanted to use the one on the bottom. the cabinet looks very organized now. and i feel satisfied. every time i put things in order, i feel happy and a sense of satisfaction. i guess i should change my job to be a housemaid!

17 October 2005

my dearest grandma

i went to the cementery on sunday not because of the chung yeung festival. it was because on 16 october three years ago, my dearest grandma died.

i went to her graveyard early in the morning, putting some flowers in the stony pot. and i prayed. in my prayer, i thanked god that she had accepted jesus and converted to christianity though at an old age. that was so amazing. i simply have to admit that it was the power of god.

so, even if i still miss my grandma very much now, i have faith that i can see her again when this world comes to an end in the future. that is a comfort to me. this promise from god had indeed comforted me a lot during the time when my grandma died.

i love my grandma so much that when she died, i cried a lot. i even woke up in the middle of the night and cried. whenever i feel unhappy now (especially when i quarrel with my husband), i would think of my grandma and how she took care of me when i was a kid. she used to live with my siblings and i when we were babies and until we attended primary school. among all her grandchildren, i was the one who was always near her. i used to watch television at night with her while she was at the same time washing clothes (women washed clothes by hand at that time). she always bought me "egg waffles" (those little round waffles) and sugar cane juice when she took me home from school. i remember once that i lost my way because i mistakenly alighted from the kindergarten school bus at the wrong station. grandma was so worried. and i even wrote a poem on this when i studied in the university.......there are a lot to remember for my dearest grandma, who is now resting in peace in god.

15 October 2005

a life lesson from bananas

i went to the supermarket to buy groceries today. i like eating bananas and i eat one every morning. so i have to keep stocks. i usually buy the most common type of bananas. but today, my husband asked me if i would like the "emperor's bananas" -- the short ones -- that we found in the supermarket. i replied that i like any type of bananas. so we chose from the many bunches of emperor's bananas displayed on the rack.

some of them were not ripe. some were ripe but "damaged" and had "cuts" on the skin. my husband kept asking me which one i thought was ok. i replied that there must be defects in some of the bananas as there were more than ten bananas in a bunch. and i quoted a chinese saying, "ten fingers are of different lengths". so we just picked the bunch with the least "damaged" and continued our shopping happily.

i think this also applies to other things we have to handle every day. the bananas have taught us a life lesson!

09 October 2005

treat

i had an argument with somebody yesterday. too bad that i am still unhappy today. so i tell myself that i have to treat myself to something good!

first, i went walking in the park nearby. whenever i feel unhappy, i like to walk -- kind of walk briskly as exercise, which people say is good to the heart, lungs, brain, etc. i have walked for 30 minutes. the air was fresh and i could see trees, grass, flowers, birds and that made me feel good. as the wind blew against me, i felt that it was sweeping away the unhappy things from me.

second, i visited page one book shop. i like reading very very very much. and i like smelling the books! there is an aroma of books that i am addicted to! in the past, whenever i opened a book, the first thing i would do was to smell the pages! (i do not do so now cos i am afraid if there are worms!!) so, book shops are a haven for me. i have bought two novels this time. both are movie tie-ins --- the notebook and twisted.

third, i bought cakes. cakes are one of my favourites. i have bought chestnut tart and chocolate mousse cake! yummy!

i have not been good to myself for so long and so i triple my treat at one time!

07 October 2005

encouragement

i read many articles saying that encouragement is very important to people that it may change somebody's life. the positive elements can make people transform their old way of thinking and sweep away negative stuff from their mind.

having read both falling leaves and chinese cinderella by adeline yen mah, i can say this is really true. little adeline could survive in her childhood when her stepmother treated her so badly was not because adeline was a strong girl (yes, she might be strong in her character to certain extent but she had a very negative image of herself because of how her dad and stepmother treated her). it was the continuous encouragement from her ye ye (grandpa) and aunt baba that had supported her emotionally throughout not only her childhood but also her life as a grownup. i am so moved as i read a letter written by aunt baba to adeline. the following is an excerpt:

...some day, you will be my age and may wish to speak to me but i may no longer be around. keep in mind always, always, no matter what, that you are worthwhile and very important to me, wherever i may be......whenever you feel discouraged, and those clouds come back, take out this letter and read it again. it is a message from your aunt baba, who will always hold you precious in her heart.....you have defied the odds and garnered triumph through your own efforts. your future is limitless and i shall always be proud of you...

though adeline had suffered so much and faced so many problems when she was growing up, it was the love and encouragement inside her heart that supported her to face those challenges and to tackle the life problems.

take an opportunity to encourage those who are weak! it may change his / her life...

05 October 2005

i remember...

i attended a funeral tonight. the father of a friend in church has passed away.

when i sat down in the room where the funeral was held, i remembered my father, who died nearly four years ago. i vividly remember his funeral, in which i represented my family to give a testimony of his converting to christianity when he suffered from cancer.

when i travelled on the bus on my way home after the funeral, i saw familiar buildings. i remember i worked for companies which were inside those buildings. some of these companies have been closed already; some are still there. i remember the scenes when i worked for a particular company. i remember those colleagues and their smiles. i remember their ways of speaking. i remember those days when i enjoyed my work quite a lot.

i also remember friends as the bus passed by some residential buildings. some of them have moved already but some are still living there. i remember i visited some of them and played with their kids. i remember i had dinner with them and had a good chat.

some years in the future, i will still remember...

27 September 2005

my thoughts

this morning when i travelled on the mtr, i saw a little girl sitting on the lap of her philippino maid singing "mary had a little lamb". i thought to myself, "how cute she is!" after a while, the girl, who is of kindergarten age, called her mum who stood not quite near her. so, before she called her mum, i did not realize that her mother was nearby.

however, her mum, who is a working woman and dressing smartly, seemed so concentrated in a conversation with a man standing in front of her that she did not give any response to the little girl. at that moment, i thought to myself again, "what a mother she is! it seems she does not care for her little daughter! simply put the responsibility to the philippino maid! so irresponsible!"

as i was having pity with the little girl, i also saw that this woman was in a "discussion" with the man in front of her. i didn't know if the man was her husband or not, but i heard the woman said, "...not even a phone call..." and she wept. the man was sad and it seemed that he felt helpless with what the woman said. so i thought to myself again, "oh, maybe they have problems in their relationship or maybe they have problems not yet solved. that is why the woman is so unhappy that she simply does not have the mood and energy to care for her little daughter."

then, i had more sympathy with the woman. and i told myself that i should not jump into conclusion before i see the whole picture.

13 September 2005

bonus time

i read books on my one-hour mtr ride to work every day. i am now reading an autobiography, which is a favourite genre of mine. the book is "falling leaves" by adeline yen mah. it talks about the author's true story of her life as an unwanted chinese daughter.

when she grew up, she met again her aunt who loved her very much and took good care of her when she was a kid. the following is what her aunt said when they met again:

"i often think of life as a deposit of time. we are each allocated so many years, just like a fixed sum in a bank. when twenty-four hours have passed i have spent one more day. i read in the people's daily that the average life expectancy for a chinese woman is seventy-two. i am already seventy-four years old. i spent all my deposits two years ago and am on bonus time. every day is already a gift. what is there to complain of?"

it seems that only old people will think in this way. but isn't it true that we all are allocated a fixed sum? and we do not know how large this sum is. if we go on complaining while we are spending every cent, we may one day find out that we have spent all but doing nothing except complaining. so, why not consider each day as the last cent we have and live life to its fullest? a verse in the bible says, "...you do not even know what will happen tomorrow. what is your life? you are a mist that appears for a little while and then vanishes (james 4:14)."

this also makes me think of "carpe diem" (seize the day), an aphorism used by roman writer horace in his odes.

31 August 2005

melancholy

i have not written poems for a long time. on my way home this evening, i have composed one in my mind.

melancholy

four plus two used to work in a team
happily, harmoniously, excitedly, noisily and merrily.

one by one left.
j first, then a
today c also left.

i am sadder than before
though i cried two years ago but not today.
a sense of melancholy wells up in my eyes

there are more than four plus two in the team now.
but it has changed.

no laughter
no excitement
no words
quiet
separated
alone

jobs done in the team.

29 August 2005

a quiet cyberport

when i worked for an engineering magazine in 2000, i wrote a feature on cyberport. the following are quoted from my feature:

"the cyberport, an important information infrastructure project in hong kong, attracts not only local attention, but also the world's focus as it is expected to be a multimedia hub for forming a strategic cluster of worldclass information technology (IT) and information services (IS) companies.

aiming at attracting and nurturing innovative IT/IS talents in order to build a cyber culture critical mass in hong kong.....


.....the cyberport provides a quality working and living environment conducive to creative thinking and exchange of ideas among like-minded people."

when i wrote this feature, the cyberport was not built yet. today, i have a chance to see the real cyberport. comparing what i see today with what is described in my feature, i am completely disappointed with this so-called the hub for high technology. where are the worldclass IT and IS companies? where can i find like-minded people exchanging ideas? none. what i can only see is a quiet building complex. it is so quiet that i think today is sunday instead of monday. the lobby of park building at castle peak road is much busier than the cyberport! the cyberport simply cannot create a "campus" atmosphere conducive to creative synergy.

what an important infrastructure project in hong kong!

27 August 2005

a lesson

because of my neck pain, i have started swimming for a few months. the chinese doctor said this is a good therapy. it helps indeed. not only do i feel relaxed after swimming, but the situation with my neck has also improved though not yet completely recovered.

early this morning (around 7:30am), i went swimming again. i can only go swimming on saturday or sunday morning when i do not need to go to work and when the swimming pool nearby is not so crowded with kids. though i know how to swim, somehow i cannot or better say i dare not try to swim non-stop across the pool (some 25m). i usually stopped in the middle to take a short rest and then swam back to the original starting point. there are two reasons: i think i do not have the energy to swim non-stop for 25m; and i am afraid of deep water (usually one end of the swimming pool is deeper than the other end). this morning, i told myself: i should try. so, i "saved" my energy and tried. wow, i made it! and i even did this a few times. i felt happy and had a sense of satisfaction and success.

i learn a lesson. we may be afraid of doing something we have not tried before, and we may limit ourselves when we look at the seemingly unfavourable environmental factors. adventures involve courage. be brave! you may find you can achieve much more than you have expected. you may discover a new you. and you may widen your horizons!

24 August 2005

a friend indeed

yesterday, i was a bit upset due to some age-old problems in my team. conflict of roles and poor communication have made me feel being disrespected and uncomfortable for almost a year. now i work every day without high hopes and great expectation. i just work for a living. that's all.

when i was about to leave at 5:30pm yesterday, i asked a colleague if she was also leaving cos i wanted to talk to her to sort of release my feelings. this colleague was not leaving immediately as she had an appointment later. but upon knowing my intentions, she came to my seat. she offered to walk me on my way home.

she was right. i have to let go. really let go. maybe i have not yet completely let go. that is why i am still unhappy. from now on, i have to remind myself that this job is for a living only.

thanks, serina, for not only reminding me this, but also simply accompanying me for a walk. a 15-minute walk to the mtr station. you are a friend indeed.

22 August 2005

a girl with mission

carol, a student intern i took care of during the summer vacation last year (2004) wrote to me yesterday. she told me that she has just come back from an english camp in china. it was a mission trip in which she taught english to students there. she enjoyed the trip so much that she wanted to go back again. she simply missed her students.

she did not live in luxurious hotels nor did she have sumptuous meals there, i believe. but the joy she expressed to me was so intense that you may think she has gone to a grand and lavish trip in europe or somewhere else. no. absolutely not. the joy comes from the relationship established with her students, and from something she receives from god. her contentment comes from helping god to achieve a mission. as simple as that.

i am happy for her, and i am also proud of her. she is just a local form six student going to be in form seven after this summer. but she is a girl with mission.

carol, you have every support from me and i will pray for you.

20 August 2005

blessings

when i opened the door and stepped inside the flat as i went home last evening, i suddenly felt a sense of contentment.

at that moment, i knew that i was going to cook a dinner. i would make two dishes. one is steamed beef and the other is boiled vegetable. i felt that it would be enjoyable to have dinner at home with my husband. i feel blessed because i can cook. i feel blessed because i can eat normally. i feel blessed because i can have dinner with my family. i feel blessed because i am still alive and can do what i want to do. isn't that wonderful? there are lots of people out there not able to do what they want to do due to various reasons. we should be grateful as we can enjoy life and appreciate life.

19 August 2005

punctuality

a manager of my company almost always arrives at the office at around 10am every day, one hour later than she is supposed to start working according to her employment contract.

what is punctuality? it is not only a behavioural term. it is also an attitude of life. you respect the appointment and therefore you are punctual. you respect the person and so you are punctual for a gathering. you respect yourself and you repect life --- so you try to be punctual for every job or appointment you choose to take. no one can force you to take any of the jobs or attend any of the gatherings. it is your own choice...

18 August 2005

bee in bird?


this pix is created by debbie, a friend and colleague of mine. seems debbie is not only a good designer but also a sophisticated person. she combines a bee and a bird in one image, with a complicated explanation.... that i do not quite understand!! anyway, it is good to have different interpretations for one single image. that is creativity, right?

creativity

serina, another friend of mine who is also a colleague in the current company has recently made me a craft of a lovely little bee with a flower. it is origami -- the craft of folding paper. since it is made by folding paper, the head of the bee is a cube! so funny! but it is indeed lovely.

recently, we have been learning origami during lunch time in the office. this makes me think of my childhood. when i was small, there were not so many toys, especially electronic ones. we used simple materials and objects to create our toys. origami is one of my favourite games. we made paper boxes, cranes, aeroplanes, hats, balls, etc.

i feel that children at that time were more creative compared with kids nowadays. life was simpler then. a simple life encourages creativity?

17 August 2005

my colleague and friend

my colleague cc is going to leave the company. she is one of the few good friends of mine in this low-morale and gossip-saturated company. cc is much younger than i. at first, i was afraid we might have a "generation gap". but surprisingly, we have developed a harmonious working relationship over the years. we consider each other friends rather than colleagues.

i felt happy when she mentioned to me her resignation. i was happy for a number of reasons. firstly, i was the first one to know this. this means that she trusts me and confides in me. the more important is that when she tells me about her new job, she shows her willingness to take challenges. there are numerous reasons for her to leave, and she shared with me her concern. but after all, she is a girl willing to learn. that is a good attitude youngsters should have and that i appreciate very much.

my manager asked me if i missed cc. my reply was an "of course" answer. it is wonderful to work with someone whom you can consider a "comrade". we helped one another in our workplace; we respected one another; we shared problems; we listened to one another; and we learnt from one another. cc's leaving makes me think of when my former manager jenny left the company. the same feeling.....

it is a blessing to have good colleagues and good friends.

16 August 2005

my student winnie

my student winnie called on monday evening, telling me that she would be leaving again early the next day morning to return to her workplace in china. i said i was so sorry since i could not squeeze time to meet her in the past week. she came back to hong kong to stay for about 2 weeks for a business meeting only.

winnie was my student when i was her private tutor some years ago. she was then in primary six. she has already left university for a few years and is now working. early this year, she told me that she was going to join a non-profit humanitarian organization to organize relief and educational work in china. she does not work in urban china, but those parts where there is no mtr, no soft drinks or snacks, and no broadband. instead she has got mosquito bites, diarrhoea, a tired body after frequent walks under the sun for hours.... but the most important, she has work satisfaction, a heart for appreciating life, and sympathy for the poor. and i can see her sense of enjoyment and contentment from the pictures she took in china, especially those with the poor but happy kids.

winnie has grown up. i feel contented. i am proud of her indeed. it is not easy for such a young person not to work for money nowadays. she studied business administration in university and it is not difficult for her to find a job making money. her present job seems tough, but she has find meaning in it. and that is the most important.